Yesterday :: Today


May 11th

9:48 a.m. :: 2005-05-11

Sir Jeremy, a knight. vs. Ros Travanti, a prince....

Jeremy,
I miss you damn it. I keep thinking about you, and wondering if I'd be happier if you were around. I want to be your friend. I want to be around you. I can't trust the people around me - I can trust you. You're one of the very few people I can trust - and I don't want you to leave my life. Last night I considered getting up from bed and walking to your house - I couldn't sleep, I was up until 2:30am. I hadn't slept well the night before either. I was so tired I was in tears, and my frustraition made Travanti angry which only made me even more upset. I kept thinking, if Jeremy was here, I wouldn't be having this problem right now. But then I think about how over time, I'd have problems with you again as well.
I'm so afraid that I wont see you again, that later in life I'll want and need you so bad, but you'll be gone. Every single day is a day litered with fear, and worry and pain worring about my grades, about college, about you, about Travanti, about my social life, my parents, the house, the lack of money... I'm burning inside like fire, and sometimes I need something outside the situation to cling to- and that's you. be strong Jeremy.

don't give up on me yet.

I know how you're hurting, I was there too, and it burns, and it's hard to deal with, and it makes every moment awake and sober a moment wishing for death... I know. And I want to ease your pain. I want to help... I'm so sorry Jeremy, you we're my first true love - and I'll never forget you no matter what.

Yesterday :: Today